Invincible No More
by lurkingwhump
Summary: A routine information-gathering trip provides Kurt and Jane with an agonizing reminder of the dangers of their job as the team comes under fire.
1. Chapter 1

A/N This little drabble idea invaded my mind and wouldn't leave until I wrote it down. It's angsty. Takes place at some point during s3 after Jane and Kurt have reconciled.

Disclamer: Don't own anything. All rights belong to Martin Gero & co, and the actors who portray these characters.

* * *

 **Invincible no more**

"Jane's hit!" Tasha's message in Kurt's ear felt like a sledgehammer to his stomach. This was supposed to have been a simple interview and information-gathering trip but things had suddenly gone to hell and turned into a shootout with members of the group they were tracking. Kurt was taking cover in the upstairs offices, exchanging fire with the gunmen and Jane and Tasha were at the other end of the industrial building.

"Jane! JANE!" As she didn't reply to his calls, the feeling of dread intensified. " _If she's not answering, it's bad."_ Kurt took down the gunman who was pinning him to the office and moved out. "Tasha, I'm coming to you! Are you with Jane?"

"I can see her, but I can't get to her, Weller. They have us pinned down. There's at least four of them on us….Three now!" Tasha replied triumphantly as she managed to take down another of their assailants.

Kurt wound his way through the maze of containers and forklifts as fast as he safely could, desperately trying to get to his wife. "Jane!" He anxiously called for her again. As he heard her pained and quiet whimper in his ear, he was filled with a sense of urgency " _She's alive…"_ "Hang on, Jane, I'm almost there," he spoke, trying to keep his voice calm. In reality he could hear his heart pounding in his ears, his fear for Jane almost overpowering. It was like the situation at Rossi's cabin again. Except, this time he knew Jane was hurt.

Kurt could hear fewer shots, Tasha must have taken down another of the shooters. "Patterson, get NYPD here, and an ambulance! We need backup," he barked, as he fired off a few rounds at one of the gunmen and took cover behind a shipping container to change the magazine to his pistol.

"On it."

Circling to the other side of the container, Kurt was able to surprise the shooter he was exchanging fire with and take him down. He could see Jane lying on the ground behind a large wooden crate some 20 yards away. "Tasha, I just took out what I think was the last shooter. Keep your eyes open, I'm going to Jane!"

Kurt sprinted to where Jane lay and dropped to his knees besides her. Seeing the large amount of blood and her still form brought his world crashing down. He reached out to touch her cheek, afraid that she wasn't breathing. "No…no. Jane."

"Kurt…," she whispered faintly, opening her eyes at his touch.

He gently lifted Jane into his arms, cradling her to him. "I'm here, my love. I'm here." He could feel the blood seeping into his shirt, she was bleeding badly. He was unable to suppress the gasp that escaped him as he lifted Jane's shirt. The round had entered her abdomen, blood flowing steadily from the wound. Jane moaned quietly as Kurt turned her in his embrace and traced his hand over her back and chest, searching for an exit wound or more entry wounds.

Kurt winced in sympathy. "I'm sorry, I've got to look."

This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to Jane. She always managed to escape serious injury. She was supposed to be invincible, at least in Kurt's eyes. And yet, here she was, shot and bleeding in his arms.

Jane cried out in pain as Kurt pressed his hand down on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. He murmured his apologies into her hair, wishing he could switch places with her. He'd do that in a heartbeat if it meant sparing Jane from pain. She'd already had far too much of that in her life.

Suddenly, Jane squeezed Kurt's arm weakly. Looking into her eyes, he saw something that shook him. He saw fear. Pure, unadulterated fear he hadn't seen in her eyes since they had taken down Sandstorm. "Kurt, I don't think I'm –"

Kurt shushed her gently, but he knew she could see the redness and fear in his own eyes, although he tried to hide it.

"Don't go there, Jane. You're going to be okay. I've got you. Just lie still."

He cradled her in his arms and kept whispering to her tenderly.

"We still have many good days ahead together. Quiet evenings at home, hmm?" Kurt dropped his head to her ear and nuzzled her lovingly. "That second honeymoon we talked about. Just the two of us."

Jane mumbled an unintelligible reply, snuggling deeper into Kurt's arms. He tightened his arms around her and pressed another loving kiss to Jane's forehead as he prayed for the paramedics to get there soon.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:

So, I decided to write an epilogue for the first chapter. This was written almost a couple of months ago, so any similarities to events in late s3 are completely incidental.

A fair warning, this epilogue is more or less nothing but angst. Never intended it to be this angsty, but take2intotheshower on Tumblr suggested the main plot point and the story kinda unfolded from there and took on a life of its own. So please, don't put a bounty on me just yet.

take2intotheshower thanks for the idea and listening to my ramblings on this, as well as betaing this. You, my friend, are a treasure trove of ideas :D.

* * *

 **Invincible no more (chapter 2)**

Kurt threw away the remnants of his second cup of tepid hospital coffee and started pacing the waiting room hallway again. He had waited in the uncomfortable chairs for what felt like an eternity. He had briefly talked with the doctors in the ER and signed what must have been a dozen medical consent forms as Jane's next-of-kin. Thankfully, they had let him see Jane right before they wheeled her away into surgery. He had hoped that seeing her would have eased his anxiety, but it did the opposite. " _She looked so pale. So weak.."_

Zapata had arrived some time ago to keep him company. Reade would coordinate the crime scene with the NYPD. Kurt didn't feel like talking, but on some level he was grateful to have one of the team with him.

Tasha looked up from her phone and stopped typing a message to Keaton. "Weller…" she said softly.

Kurt didn't react to her voice but continued his pacing. "Weller…," she tried again.

"What?!" he growled, almost angrily.

"You wearing a hole in the floor isn't going to make the surgery go any faster. Please sit down. You'll just drive yourself crazy," she said in a sympathetic tone.

Kurt stopped in front of Zapata and drew his hand over his face with a sigh. He was silent for a moment as he realized his hands were covered in blood and he had large stains of blood covering his shirt and his jeans. " _It's all Jane's blood."_

"Sorry, Tasha. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just that Jane's in surgery and–"

Zapata grabbed his arm and gave it a small squeeze. "I know this isn't easy on you, Weller. She's your wife."

Zapata gave a small smile and continued. "But she's also a hell of a fighter. She'll pull through."

"I hope you're right… Look, I'm going to go wash my hands real quick. Will you-"

"Yes, if anything happens in those thirty seconds, I'll come get you Weller," she assured him.

Kurt scrubbed the remnants of the blood off his hands in the bathroom, watching the pink swirls disappearing down the drain. _"That's Jane's blood. What if she doesn't make it? What if something goes catastrophically wrong in the OR and she dies…"_ He shook his head, almost violently, to get rid of the nightmare-like thoughts that stalked on the edge of his rational mind. He then headed back to the waiting room.

After a little while, the door to the waiting area opened and Patterson rushed in with tears in her eyes. She took one look at Kurt's bloodied appearance and threw her arms around him. "I came as soon as I could," she murmured into Kurt's chest as she hugged him. "Where's Jane? How bad is it?"

"She was shot in the abdomen. She's been in surgery for a little over an hour. The doctors are doing what they can," Kurt replied quietly, a slight note of desperation in his voice. "All we can do is wait."

* * *

Kurt heard the doors to the surgical unit opening and saw a surgeon emerging. He recognized the man as the same one who had been at the ER and, not wanting to wait another second, he rose from his seat and met the doctor halfway down the corridor. Patterson and Zapata stayed back, giving him a chance to talk to the doctor in private.

As Kurt came face to face with the surgeon, he felt panic creeping up on him. He wasn't easily rattled, but when it came to Jane…Reade was right, she did cloud his judgment, both in a good way and a bad one. When Jane had left him in Colorado, he felt like a defeated man. Now, after everything that had happened since, if he lost her, he didn't know what he would do.

Kurt couldn't read the man's face. "Jane…how is she?"

"I'm afraid I have some bad news, Agent Weller."

Kurt felt like his world was about to end. His vision narrowed and became hazy. "No…no, she can't be-" he said desperately.

The doctor quickly spoke, trying to soothe Kurt's anxiety. "No, no. Your wife's alive, although seriously injured. In time, and with some peace and quiet, she will hopefully recover. We were able to stop the bleeding but the trauma was too severe to maintain the pregnancy."

At Kurt's shocked look, the doctor spoke softly "She was pregnant but she miscarried."

" _What?!"_ "No, she's not pregnant. She would've told me!" he growled quietly at the doctor. Blood was rushing in his ears as his anger started to rise. " _She said she slept with Clem. But that was months ago. She would've shown already. Unless…"_ As quickly as the anger rose, it vanished. Kurt's throat felt parched suddenly, his thoughts were going a hundred miles a minute and he felt nauseous as it clicked. "How…how far along was she?" he forced the words out.

The doctor gave Kurt a compassionate look. "About six weeks. She might not have even known. I'm sorry, Agent Weller."

Kurt nodded at the doctor dumbly.

"She should be moved to a room in a few of hours. You can see her then."

As the doctor left, Kurt leaned against the wall behind him feeling his legs might give out. "No!" he wailed quietly and slid down the wall, burying his head in his hands as the tears fell on his cheeks and he sobbed. He soon felt Patterson's hand on his shoulder and saw her kneel in front of him, Zapata standing behind Patterson. "Weller…Is it Jane, is she?…" Patterson didn't finish the question, fear in her voice.

Kurt looked at Patterson, not even trying to collect himself "Alive. She….she was pregnant. We lost the baby." he choked out. He heard both women gasp, before Patterson pulled him into her arms. "Kurt…oh god, I'm so sorry."

He went willingly into her embrace, feeling Tasha kneel next to them and put her arm protectively around his shoulders as he sobbed inconsolably in his friend's arms.

* * *

He was sitting by Jane's bedside, softly caressing her cheek. He was finally with her. After the doctor had come by, they had kept Jane in recovery for a few hours before moving her into the room where she was now. Kurt had waited all those hours, fear still eating at his heart. Tasha had stayed with him and Patterson had gone to the office get him a fresh set of clothing and cajole him into changing, reasoning with him that his blood-soaked clothes might frighten Jane when she woke up.

Jane was alive, but her condition was serious. Lying on the bed, with numerous pieces of medical equipment attached to her, she looked so vulnerable. She also had an IV in her arm and a drain had been left in place. His strong and untouchable wife, brought to death's door by a single bullet. That single bullet had punched holes into her intestine before nicking her liver, causing the massive bleeding that Kurt had tried in vain to stop. The doctors had been able to stop the bleeding and save Jane's life, but not without consequence. Kurt looked at Jane, sleeping peacefully on the bed, as his vision blurred with tears and he struggled to breathe under the massive weight he felt on his shoulders.

Kurt feared that this would crush Jane. She was incredibly strong and resilient, but he was afraid this might truly break her. He knew how she had agonized over the thought of tracking down Avery before everything went to hell, and how insecure she was about becoming a mother, much less a good mother, with a past like hers. And now, that opportunity had been stolen from her without her even knowing. Yes, they would get other chances to start a family, but it didn't ease the agony. He wished more than anything that he could spare her the pain the news would cause. He wanted to keep the pain from Jane; to protect her. He had briefly thought of not telling her of the pregnancy. He agonized over the decision. When they began rebuilding their relationship they had promised each other not to keep secrets, _any_ secrets.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, barely able to stop a sob that threatened to escape. He put his elbows on the side of the bed and leaned on his hands, almost like he was praying. _"How…how do you tell the person you love about something like this? How do you even begin to….When you know it will only cause suffering?"_

The doctor had given him the option to tell Jane himself or, if it would be easier, the doctor himself could deliver the news. Kurt had refused, saying he should be the one to tell her. So, Jane would learn of what happened but Kurt hoped it would soften the blow if he broke the news. " _But when?"_

The more he had agonized over it, the more desperate he had become. He knew that the longer he kept it from Jane, the harder she would take it. Even if his only aim was to protect her. He was at a loss, the decision too painful. In the end, he had made the call to ask Patterson and Tasha. They were Jane's two closest friends, after all, and knew her better than anyone apart from himself. The women had convinced Kurt that although he only wanted to protect her, it would be for the best if he told Jane as soon as she was fully awake again. The idea that Kurt had kept a secret like this would only hurt her more. So, now he waited, alone; faced with one of the hardest things he had ever done.

Jane was starting to come to. She shifted slightly on the bed, slowly looking around through half-lidded eyes. She let out a small whimper and tried to reach for the nasal cannula she had on.

Kurt grabbed her hand gently to stop her and leaned in, giving her a small smile. "Jane…hey."

He saw she was tense and had a distraught look in her eyes. He leaned above her so that she could see him and ran his hand through her hair soothingly.

"Shhh. It's okay...you're in a hospital. It's okay." He kept whispering to her until he felt her relax. She tried to stay awake but the anesthesia still lingered, trying to pull her under.

He moved his hand from her hair to her cheek again, stroking it lovingly. "Go back to sleep, my love. It's okay. Everything's okay." As Jane succumbed to sleep once again, Kurt fell heavily back into the chair, unable to keep his tears at bay. He lay his head on the side of Jane's bed and wept bitter tears of pain. _"Things are not okay. Oh God. Why?"_

* * *

The next time Jane woke up it was late into the evening. She awoke as the nurse was taking her vitals and checking the drain left in place after the surgery. Kurt moved away from the bed to give the nurse room to do her job, but he didn't venture any farther from Jane than necessary, watching them like a hawk. The nurse reassured them both that everything was fine and left, telling Jane to use the call button if she needed anything.

As the nurse went out, Kurt retook his place by Jane's bed. He kissed her on the cheek and sat down in the chair again. "How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, with an affectionate look in his eyes.

Jane was silent for a moment, as if taking stock of the situation. "I'm okay. Maybe a bit achy. I don't remember much, beyond a sharp burning sensation and then you being there. What happened?"

Kurt nodded, his expression sobering as he took Jane's hand, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. "You…you got shot in the stomach. The surgeon said the bullet damaged your intestine and nicked your liver, which caused the massive bleeding." He gave her a pained look and swallowed thickly. "There was so much blood. I thought I was going to lose you."

"I'm still here, Kurt." He felt her squeeze his hand gently.

"Yeah. I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you." Kurt whispered, looking down at their joined hands and wedding rings.

"I love you, too."

Kurt kept caressing her hand tenderly, running his thumb over Jane's wedding ring again and again. He couldn't look Jane in the eye right now, because if he did he knew he couldn't stop the tears he felt in his eyes. He tried to collect his thoughts, his courage to tell her the news. The pain inside him felt debilitating. Kurt knew this would be as bad as him telling her he had killed Avery, if not worse.

Jane had noticed his struggle. She could read him better than anyone.

"Kurt? What is it? What are you not telling me?" Jane asked softly. "Kurt, please look at me."

He looked up, almost shyly "I don't know how to tell you, Jane. I….I don't want to hurt you." His voice was full of tears.

The look Jane gave him almost undid him. He saw the pain in her eyes, pain for him, but also such love that it made him question what earned him the right to love this incredible woman.

She removed her hand from his and reached to wipe away a tear trailing down Kurt's cheek. "No secrets, remember? I know you want to protect me, but please don't keep things from me anymore."

Kurt took her hand from his cheek and squeezed it gently. He drew a shuddering breath and spoke. "You were pregnant, Jane. We..we were going to have a baby. But the trauma was too much…The baby, it didn't.." He couldn't bring himself to say the words.

Jane looked at him with a devastated expression. "What?" She asked slowly. "No…" Then, as the understanding sank in, the tears came. " No..," she whimpered quietly and threw her arms around Kurt's neck, burying her face into his shoulder as she cried.

Kurt sat up on the edge of the bed and pulled her completely into his embrace. He kissed her hair as he held her, his own tears falling down his cheeks. He shushed her tenderly as she sobbed with abandon against his chest, but he didn't speak. Words were inadequate. No word or phrase could soothe the agony they both felt, bring back the life that had been taken. Right now, all they had was each other. He only squeezed Jane tighter to him, trying to reassure her he was there.

As Jane's sobs eventually died down into quiet whimpers, Kurt noticed she tensed in his arms. At first, he was afraid it was because of something he did, until he understood. In Jane's condition, the crying could cause pain because of her wounds and stitches. He knew she had a high pain tolerance, but he was worried.

"Jane," he murmured quietly, and lifted her chin with his fingers gently so he could see her eyes. The look in her eyes nearly killed him. He saw a multitude of emotions in that look: pain, fear, vulnerability and guilt. "Do you want something for the pain?" Kurt half-expected a denial but Jane's only reply was a weak nod and she averted her eyes, leaning back into his embrace.

As Kurt disentangled his other arm from around Jane and reached for the call button, she tightened her arms around him and whimpered "Please, don't go."

Her reaction tore at Kurt's heart. He kissed her temple and soothed her. "Shh, I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here, Jane. I just called the nurse."

As the nurse appeared, Kurt asked her to bring his wife something for the pain. She reappeared a couple of minutes later and spoke softly to Jane, who was still leaning into Kurt, his arms encircling her protectively.

"This is Dilaudid. It's an opiate, so it should help rather quickly with the pain. It might make you feel sleepy" she smiled. "I'm going to inject this into your arm, okay?"

Jane didn't speak, she only nodded in understanding. Kurt adjusted his hold on her so the nurse could inject the drug. The nurse smiled warmly at Kurt. Addressing Jane, she finished "If you need it, you can have another injection in four hours."

"Thank you," Kurt told the nurse sincerely as she left to leave them alone. As Kurt moved again, Jane refused to let go of him.

"Shh, I'm here. I'm just going to lie down with you." Careful of all the medical equipment and things attached to her, Kurt lay down on the bed and pulled Jane close to him again, soothingly caressing her back as he noticed the painkiller take effect.

Jane was normally so confident and collected that seeing her so broken shook Kurt to the core. All the things that life and Roman had thrown at her she had weathered. Until now. She was shattered. " _Is this what Roman is after? Breaking her?"_ Kurt was determined to help her through this. They would make it, together.

He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, murmuring tenderly. "Go to sleep. I'll be right here. Everything is going to be okay. I promise."


End file.
